A Weekend with Mew
by AquaVoid
Summary: Mew is sent to the real world for a weekend! What hilarious things can occur with her presence?
1. Prologue

_Hall of Origin_

"Court is now in session" said Arceus

"Why are we in court?" Asked Giratina "we usually just hold a meeting about this"

"Do not question me" said Arceus in a god like voice

"Yes sir"

"Today we will decide what Mew's punishment should be for destroying half of the hall of origin" said Arceus

As Arceus said, Mew destroyed half of the hall of origin when she ate a shit ton of candy (probably stolen, hey where's my giant stache of candy!?)

"I call the first witness: Mewtwo"

* * *

 _Real World (really don't know how to write a court scene)_

"aggghhh"

Sam was bored, there's nothing to do when confined to your home

"Maybe I can finally finish pokemon crystal?" He asked himself "I just can't do it..."

He went to sleep a few hours later after doing nothing all day (same irl)

* * *

 _Hall of Origin_

"I think that we can all agree that Mew should be sent to the real world for a weekend" said Arceus

"But why there! It's borrring!" Said Mew

"Exactly" said Mewtwo

"Awwwww" she said

The Portal opens to the real world

* * *

 _Real World_

"Wake up!" Someone said

"No, five more minutes"

"Wake up" someone said before throwing me off my bed

"Who the fu- oh..." i said

"Hi!"

"..."

"..."

"I knew eating all that food would be bad for me... Now I'm hallucinating, wait what did I eat?" I said

"I am real (slaps me) see?" She said

"Ow... fine you're real, now what?" I asked "Why are you here?"

"I was sent here as a punishment, so far this is boring!" Mew said

"But you haven't seen anything yet!"

"Like what?"

"hmmm probably shouldn't tell her about the pokemon anime" I thought

"Pokemon anime?"

"Shit, I forgot she can read minds!" I thought "let me show you what the pokemon anime is"

* * *

(Probaly 1 episode and a long explanation later)

"See, this world can be fun" I said "if you take out the whole part that this world has seen more wars that yours"

"Why am I not on there?" She asks me

"You are, in the first movie" I say

"Hey, Sam" someone says

"Yeah?"

"The chapter is almost over"

"What?"

"Yeah better hurry up"

"OH SHI-"

* * *

What will happen next? Will Mew ever understand that the real world is fun too? Will I ever get a girlfriend?

Find out next time on a weekend with mew!

* * *

What do you want to happen on saturday? Like Mew turning Sam into a pokemon? Or trapping him in his favorite cartoon show.

Leave your suggestions in the reviews or pm them to me

(Remember this is about humor, anything funny is acceptable!)


	2. Saturday:a relatively calm day

As Mew sat down bored out of her mind...

"Why can't things get more exciting?" She asked herself

Then she spotted Sam watching tv, a smile appeared on her face "Maybe I can make my own fun"

* * *

As I was watching dragon ball z kai (The final chapters) I was enveloped in a bright light

"Wait what?" I asked

'You're in the tv!' Mew said

"I'm gonna die, OH SHIT IT'S THAT BUU?"

* * *

On the tv there was only punches Thrown and Sam getting knocked back!

But in Sam's perspective it was a massacre

He has blood everywhere and swears he broke a few bones!

"Ow... how did I survive all that?"

Sam was then pulled out of the tv and then healed

His eyes were wide open "too much..." he said "you have no idea what I saw..."

"Maybe that was a bit too much" Mew thought "What's this?"

Mew just found Sam's phone, she somehow unlocked it and saw the wall paper "Looks like I have a fan..." she thought

"Still in pain..." said Sam "even if you healed me"

* * *

"What are you doing?" She asked

"Changing the channel in case you try that again" I said, I switched the channel to tom and jerry

"Hopefully this one is safe" i thought "probably not though"

"Your no fun..."

"Its not my fault I got brutally slaughtered in dbz kai!"

* * *

 ** _Meanwhile with the legendary's watching this happen_**

Mewtwo was eating popcorn (save some for me!) While laughing at this

"Wait, Mewtwo showing emotions?" Said Moltres "that's a first"

"How's mew taking all of this?" Asked Arceus

"Mew was torturing the guy you sent her to" said Mewtwo

"How's he doing?"

"Not good" said Mewtwo "traumatized, he got beaten up in a cartoon"

"And?"

"There was lots of blood"

* * *

 ** _now back with Sam and Mew_**

"Why am I a small plushie?" I ask

"Ooo soft~"

"What are you going to do?"

Mew picks me up and hugs me as if i was a plushie, wait I am one!

"Maybe being a plushie isn't so bad after all!" I thought

Mew lies down on a couch and sleeps

"Oh, wait... I can't move" I thought "shit, didn't think this through"

* * *

"look at them!"

"What?" Said Mewtwo

"Look at what Mew is doing?"

"Oh... it seems that that boy is not liking it" said Mewtwo "but if i look closely I can see that he's smiling"

"That is adorable!" Said Meloetta

* * *

"Zzzzzzzzzzz- huh? I fell asleep again"

I looked behind me, "Oh that's right, mew happened" I thought "still can't move though"

* * *

 _ **Hey, mew... could you get off me?**_

 _ **Mew:no, it's too comfortable! And soft...**_

 _ **(-_-)**_

 ** _(Whispering to reader) remember to suggest some things that mew and Sam can do! Someone did but I couldn't do it since I haven't played the game yet (here's the review from that guest:_** Hmm maybe some Ork nobz or weirdboyz would be amusing, if you're into grimdark. Orks are always silly. And, they'd love Pokemon, since orks always love a good fight. And weirdboyz sometimes spontaneously shoot electricity or explode, which can always cause some chaos. _ **) sad thing is that I have no idea what game that suggestion came from...**_

 _ **Mew:what are you doing?**_

 _ **Answering a review and probably disappointing them...**_

 _ **Mew:Zzzzzzzzzzz**_

 _ **Good night! (When I finish this chapter and posting it) (goes to sleep)**_


	3. Sunday: the end

:[Guest that mentioned the orks]

It's from Warhammer 40000 (also known as 40k in common parlance) . It's pretty much the polar opposite in tone to Pokemon. A much-used quote from 40k is: "In the grim dark future of the 41st Millennium, there is only war."  
It's a setting that is so dark that a religiously-fanatic totalitarian empire, The Imperium of Man, is the only thing keeping humanity from going extinct. The Imperium is under attack on all sides by various hostile aliens (including Orks) as well as internal threats in the form of Chaos Cultists, who do things so horrific that it makes ISIS look like upstanding pacifists.

 ** _Thanks for the info! (Runs off to research this topic, falls down)_**

 ** _Mew:remember you're still a plush!_**

 ** _Damn, forgot about that! Can I turn back into a human now?_**

 ** _Mew:no_**

 ** _Worth a shot... at least I have an idea on what this (the orks) is, although I still have no idea on how to make them appear (I'll think of something)_**

 ** _Mew:wouldn't that bump this fanfic's rating to M?_**

 ** _Yeah, I'll see what I can do..._**

* * *

Sunday rolled along and we see Sam sleeping and an impatient mew trying to wake him up

"Wake up"

"No, (mumbles something about going around at the speed of sound)"

"Oh, so that's how it's going to be"

Mew then pulls a mallet and slams it on Sam

* * *

"Achoo!" Misty sneezes

"What happened?" Asked Ash from the video phone

"I felt like someone copied me..."

* * *

Its a miracle on how Sam survived that beating, considering how this is not an anime

"How... how did I survive that?"

Mew shurgs

"Now i know how it feels like to be ash or any person adventuring with misty..." said Sam "absolutely terrified"

"Then I probably shouldn't summon the orks on you..." said Mew

"What? You mean those creatures that make Isis look like priests?" Asked Sam

"Yeah, those"

"What now? Explore the world? I've always wanted to go to japan" said Sam "you said that you had to be here for a weekend"

Mew shrugged, no suggestions came from the readers so the author had to go into overdrive and think of something quick

There was a knock on the door

Sam found a note on the floor that said "take your wiimote and press a while pointing at the tv"

"Huh, that is oddly specific" said Sam "why the hell not?"

Sam pointed his wiimote and a portal appeared on the tv

He found another note inside the portal, on the other side of the portal was a huge hallway

"Just go foward and open the big door" it said

"Woah... wait are those orks?" Asked Sam "if they are then I'm screwed..."

Then an ork noticed him, that was on Sam's mind was "fuck"

He ran as fast as he could, "where is mew?" He thought

He found a large stick and started hitting the orks with it, then he thought of something, he launched his leg fowards and hit a guys weakpoint: his di- *gets slapped before he can finish that sentence*

The orks eye went wide and then fell over

"Huh, that was easy" said Sam

He walked into the next room, which had a long table with many pokemon sitting around it

"You're finally here" said Arceus "although I'm sorry about the orks, I know that if i went all out with them this story would be rated m"

"Its no problem" said Sam "But why bring me here?"

"we saw you, its surprising that you haven't gone insane with mew around..." said Arceus

"there wasn't anything exciting going on and i'm pretty sure i'm already insane..." said Sam "or i'm just too stupid to realize whats going on most of the time"

"okay? i need to talk to you for a minute" asked Arceus

* * *

"Do you know why I called you here?" Asked Arceus

"No not really"

"How should I tell him this..." thought Arceus "I felt feelings of regret coming from Mew when I said she had to come back"

"So... what now?" Asked Sam

"Promise me not to get angry?" Asked Arceus

"You are the god of this universe so I can't refuse..." said Sam

"Let me give you the short version: Mew loves you" said Arceus

This surprised Sam

"Wait really? We only knew each other for a day" said Sam "I guess I can say I feel the same way..."

Mew then suddenly appeared to hug Sam, knocking him down in the process

* * *

 _After this some time had passed in the real world, Sam was now an adult (20 to be exact) and is now living in the pokemon world in pallet town..._

 _Sam and Mew had a child together,_

 _This child was named Jack_

 _And now this is where this story ends and another one begins..._

* * *

 ** _the ending of this fanfic will coincide with the beginning of Journey of a trainer and his pichu_**


End file.
